That's the Sandwich Generation.

The term "Sandwich Generation was coined in 1981 by a social worker who noticed the unique stressors faced by mothers of young children who were suddenly faced with caring for an aging parent. The term has evolved to include any manner of situation where a parent is raising children while also managing the care of an aging parent, spouse, or loved one. The defining issue is a parent squeezed between two generations for whom they are giving care.

Sandwich Generation parents often witness two ends of the developmental spectrum—children growing in independence and elders becoming more dependent. Stressors also include financial strain, space limitations if moving to multigenerational living, caring from long distance, and coordination of care with siblings, spouses, or others.

There can also be some "Anticipatory Grief" that weighs us down. Our loved one may not be near death yet, but the grief and pain of witnessing the decline can feel very painful. 

Perhaps the most helpful way to ease the strain is for families to discuss aging concerns, end-of-life issues, healthcare issues, and financial issues long before they need to. Many decisions in these areas are best made when older adults are still independent and healthy. Families with children of any age benefit from estate plans and financial plans. These conversations may need to happen often, as circumstances change during life!

Another way to ease the strain is to build strong relationships in your community, family, and friend groups. Not only can this be a joyful endeavor in and of itself, but when a family is stressed, parents may need to rely on help from others. And, of course, this help can be reciprocated with others someday.

Did you know that many children often help in the care of parents, grandparents, and other loved ones who are ill?

This could be as simple as helping to feed or entertain a loved one, or by helping more around the house, but some children take on other more intensive duties. This isn't all bad! Children are naturally empathetic and want to help. Empathy in action is compassion. But for some children, it can take a toll, so we need to be aware and check in with them.

Many organizations supporting caregivers have limited information about the impact on the younger end of the "Sandwich." But our children do feel an impact.

Our children are always learning.

They learn more from watching what we're doing than what we're saying!

Parents are stressed for time or are feeling the weight of "anticipatory grief" leaving them overwhelmed or unavailable emotionally. While our children can be impacted in truly wonderful ways during the Sandwich years, when parents become aware of how these difficult times impact how they show up as parents, they can make necessary adjustments. This could be making room for more wellness habits, reaching out to friends and family to build a team they can call on in a pinch, and talking to children about what's happening to their elderly loved ones. Families can develop wellness habits together, as well.

This is how we Build a Legacy of Love!